I thought some of this was quite appropriate after the weekend

  1. 6:00 am is when you get up, not when you go to bed
  2. You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won’t turn down the music
  3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge
  4. You take naps
  5. “I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again”

  6. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work
  7. You go from 130 days holiday to 25
  8. Sleeping on the sofa makes your back hurt
  9. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up
  10. Having sex in a single bed is out of the question
  11. You hear your favourite song in a lift
  12. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “get together” and “break up”
  13. Jeans and a t-shirt no longer qualify as “dressed up”
  14. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you
  15. You don’t know what time MacDonald’s closes any more.
  16. You go to the chemist for ibuprofen and antacid not condoms and pregnancy tests
  17. A £4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good stuff”
  18. You actually eat breakfast at breakfast time
  19. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking “Oh shit, what the hell happened?”
  20. Your house plants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.

and finally … You read this entire list, looking desperately for one sign that doesn’t apply to you and can’t find one.

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