Eloise (& Brad) online

Just for fun.  Can you provide a caption for this photo?

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An older man approaches a younger woman inside the mall.

“Excuse me miss,” he said. “I can’t seem to find my wife. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes, please?” The woman, feeling a bit of compassion for the old fellow, said,

“Sure. Do you know even roughly where your wife might be?”

“I have no idea, but every time I talk to a woman with breasts like yours, she usually appears out of nowhere.”
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Venison steak with red wine & red currant sauce, served with basmati & wild rice

As per Reg Coombes Coombs request here is my first proper food update. If you would like to suggest future food features, please use the comments form.

Ingredients
For the venison
2 venison loin fillets
salt and freshly ground black pepper
olive oil, for rubbing
For the sauce
1 large glass of red wine
1 tbsp ready-made redcurrant sauce
50ml hot chicken or game stock
1 knob of butter

Serve with rice and vegetables.
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Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.’

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ‘Who was that?’

‘It was Bob the next door neighbour,’ she replies.

‘Great,’ the husband says, ‘did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?’

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
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There has been a request for a new feature on the website; food. 

As I haven’t got time to prepare an entry this week, I though I would post something about sweets.  Not just any sweets but old fashioned or retro sweets, those sweets you used to buy with your pocket money.  Blackjacks, rhubarb & custard, cola cubes, drumsticks, fried eggs etc…

There are now quite a few websites that sell retro sweets, even sites like firebox are now selling boxes.

A quarter of - have a sale on

Sweet sentiments

Retro sweets

Keep it sweet

Not sure if any of these sites are good for the waistline!!

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Actual call centre conversations !!!!!

Customer: “I’ve been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can’t get through to enquiries, can you help?”.
Operator: “Where did you get that number from, sir?”.
Customer: “It was on the door to the Travel Centre”.
Operator: “Sir, they are our opening hours”.
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Samsung Electronics
Caller: “Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?”
Operator: “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t understand who you are talking about”.
Caller: “On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?”
Operator: “I think you mean the telephone point on the wall”.
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