Eloise (& Brad) online

I have recently upgraded the website to allow for new features to be installed.

The first of these new features is a mobile format for the website. So those of you who wish to browse the website using your iPhone, ipod or mobile phone, will be presented with different display that is easier to read on a mobile device.

The website address is the same, the system will automatically detect your device and change the format.

If you have any issues with this format can you let me know in the comments below.

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I was at the checkout of a Tesco store. The cashier rang up a £46.64 charge ….. I gave her a fifty pound note. She gave me back £46.64. I gave the money back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favour. She became indignant and informed me she was educated and knew what she was doing and returned the money again. I gave her the money back. Same scenario, again! I departed the store with the £46.64.

I walked into a Starbucks with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a Grande Latte. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said ‘buy one-get one free’.'They’re already buy-one- get-one-free,’ she said, ’so I guess they’re both free’. She handed me my free Lattes and I walked out the door.
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TRUE STORY:
Outside Bristol Zoo there is a car park for 150 cars and 8 coaches.
There also used to be a very pleasant attendant with a ticket machine charging cars £1 and coaches £5.
This parking attendant worked there for all of 25 years , then one day just didn’t turn up for work…

“Ho hum”, said Bristol Zoo Management, “better phone up the City Council and get them to send a new parking attendant”

“Err no”, said the Council, “that car park is your responsibility” …

“Err no”, said Bristol Zoo Management, “the attendant was employed by the City Council, wasn’ t he?” …..

“Err NO!”
Living in Spain is a bloke who had been taking daily the car park fees amounting to an estimated £400 per day at Bristol Zoo for the last 25 years…

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,
‘Jesus is watching you.’
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head and continued.. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard
‘Jesus is watching you.’
Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
‘Did you say that?’ he hissed at the parrot.
‘Yep’, the parrot confessed, then squawked, ‘I’m just trying to warn you that he is watching you.’
The burglar relaxed.. ‘Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?’
‘Moses,’ replied the bird.
‘Moses?’ the burglar laughed. ‘What kind of people would name a bird Moses?’
“The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus’ said the bird.

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6th Place

It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:
“Would you like dinner?” the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.
“What are my choices?” the man asked.
“Yes or no,” she replied.

5th Place

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without blinking an eyelid she said,
“Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.”
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Top table is an online booking and review service for restaurants, although primarily in London is does also cover quite a lot of restaurants in Bristol (and other major cities).

It allows you to search restaurants by cuisine and price. It also allows you to only search special offers. A great idea if you aren’t really sure where you want to eat.

The advantage of requesting a booking (you have to have your booking confirmed by the restaurant) via Top Table is that once you have signed up (for free) you accrue points for every booking and every review you make. Once you have collected enough points you are able to book a free meal.

I have used it a couple of times so far, and found it really good. I have got a couple of email offers along the lines of “book this week and get a free meal”, but I haven’t been able to take up the offer so far.
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